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15 November 2017
Saturday, November 18, 2017 • 7:09 PM • 1 comments


15 NOVEMBER 2017 - Karl Harris




I placed my hand over my chest today, and my heart... somehow, its still beating. But it's broken and bruises all over. I feel VERY empty, lost and incomplete.


A person may not need another human being to make their life complete, but let's be honest, having your wounds of your soul kissed by your own blood and flesh is the most calming thing in this world. But I was denied to have that kisses. The day it happened, my whole life, my soul and my future were taken away from me.


I've played a million scenarios over in my head, what I would do if I could turn back time. I would never do the same mistakes as I did. I would protect what I should have protect. I should have not made the most horrendous mistake I have ever done in my life. I'll take any way, do anything that I'm capable of, if I can turn back time.


I have no other feelings now, other than utterly sadness, blank, mindless, miserable rage. And I can feel that I'm going to stay this way for a very long time.


I am no longer mad at anyone who has often resented me, giving me constant sadness, those betrayals, killed my soul. I have forgiven everyone for anything else they have done to me.


.....for everything, is my fault.



My only wish is for these people not to feel what I have to feel. So they will learn not to hurt people like me anymore.



(please stop hitting me, dear life. I'm too tired and I can't do this anymore. I'm trying my best to survive, I'm keeping my faith intact. I might lose my way, but my faith would still be with me. Please stop hitting me my dear life..)


And I am sorry....


Amirah Hawa 😢

wordless wednesday #2
Wednesday, October 25, 2017 • 11:39 PM • 1 comments


♥- Amirah Hawa



..... with caramel dips
Friday, October 6, 2017 • 6:54 PM • 0 comments


From myself to myself...


Do you wanna know when it's over? 



You are no longer attached to the feelings. You can't even recall the best memories you have had with them. You can listen to the songs that reminds you to them. When you meet someone new and they asks if you have a boyfriend, and you go like "nope" directly instead of "I used to have a boyfriend but we broke up already". You never think or care about them anymore. You no longer wish to receive their calls or texts or see them in person. You don't even remember how they look like, how their voice or laugh sounds like. It's like... they are no longer ever exist in your life. You live a delightful life, your emotions becoming stable and anything else become constant in a good way. But whats important is how you live your life without them. And how you make most out of it. 



That's how you know everything is over. 



You moved on. You moved on! BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER MAKE ANY CHANGES. IF THEY'RE NOT WILLING TO MAKE ANY CHANGES FOR BETTERMENT, THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE FOR THEM.



These people will be talking and acting like they didn't know how big the damages they have done to you. Unspeakable damages. They will never realised and will never understand how hurt you are, how in unbearable pain you are, and your sufferings. In apparent they will never think about it at all. You were crying inside so loud because it hurts so much. Seems like the wounds are not going to heal. The pain they did to you is actually so much bigger than they thought it were. 



But you know the rules. You know how karma works. No matter how hurts or bad they treat you, there's nothing much you can do than letting them go. Whoever hurts you, they will feel the exact same pain too sooner or later. Nobody can run away from karma bitches. Give up, step back and let the karma do what it needs to do.



This is where the actions of forgiving people take its important place. You did it for yourself, not for them so that you can let go and move on with your life. To live a good life. To shape a better future, without them. Easy to forgive doesn't mean you're a surrender. It means your heart is pure with the love of Allah swt. 



Remember, you set them free so they can live their life the way they wanted to. You lost someone who hurts you but they lost someone who care about them, who wants the best for their life. That's the difference. You probably think you lost the love you love the most, but yeah, you know how life works. Everything gets better at the end. It's time for a fresh start, a new life-- get out there again, meet new people, make new friends, go for a healthier relationship, have fun, enjoy the life, be a better person yada yada yada..



And most importantly, find your soulmate you've dream of. If you think you've love these people so damn hard enough, wait until you love your soulmate ❤



So,



Do not afraid to lose what needs to be lost. 
Indecisions is decision.



No worry, Amirah Hawa ❤




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15 November 2017
wordless wednesday #2
..... with caramel dips
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